Akatsuki's Housekeeper
by QuiteACrazyNinja
Summary: When a girl is dropped in to the Akatsuki to serve as their housekeeper, her only goal is to annoy the living hell out of them. Sumarry kinda bad, sorry! XD
1. Of Omelletes and Blondes

Okay here it goes. This was a challenge by my good friend Anna. She asked me what would happen if I was to be the Akatsuki's housekeeper...and it would turn out something like this...Keep in mind this is a fanfiction so I can do whatever I want, kay minna?

good! Edit:: I dont not own Naruto or its characters. Kakuzu sold my soul though...

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A girl around fifteen walked into a dark kitchen and flippedon the lights with a yawn. She tied up her long brown hair out of her face and sighed as she looked at the stove. She got out all the ingrediants and tools to make omlettes and began the bothersome task of cooking breakfast. Today marked the begining of her third week as Akatsuki's house keeper. Besides cooking and cleaning, she had to do troublesome things like washing clothes, being a nurse, and making sure the members didnt skip out on mission or kill eatch other. She felt like a freaking mother when everyone was older then her. She noted in her head to never sign up for random housekeepings jobs just because she was broke.

Her name? Evangelline, aka "hey you go 'insert random task here'" But the job really wasn't THAT bad. She got to be around Hidan everyday and she could still compose her list of ways to annoy the living hell out of the members...and since the leader told them that if they kill this housekeeper, he would severly punish them, (at this Hidan scoffed muttering something about being immortal so it didn't matter, at which th leader threatened him with an embarssing task that shut him up quite quickly.) Evangelline acually had a chance to accomplish all the tasks on her growing list. She decided to start this morning with a small step, to see their reactions.

She looked up from the skillet when she saw Deidara walk down the stairs and plop down into a chair. She walked over to him and put the hot omlette on his plate and poured him tea.

"'Morning blondie!" She sang out while walking back to the stove.

"What did you just call me?" The blonde asked, his voice mixed with anger and confusion.

"Blondie. I could call you Dei-dei-chan but that sounds like a pet name and honestly..."Eva responed while preparing another omellete.

"Dont call me that" He said

"What?" She asked, her back still turned.

"Either" He stated, irratated.

Some toast popped out of the toaster and Eva walked over to Deidara and put two slices on his plate. "Whatever you say Blondie..." she said with an innocent smile. She went back to the stove as she heard footsteps echoing down the hallway upstairs. She grinned and with a sniker thought, "i so far so good..."


	2. Of Smurfs and Swirls

The second chapter!!! Er well I dont have much to say about this one...so enjoy the second part of AKATSUKI'S HOUSEKEEPER!!!!! Same old same old, I dont own naruto or its characters...

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Evangelline quickly put the second omellete on a plate and set it down on the counter as the footsteps upstairs steadily got loader. A black cape and orange mask flew by and slid into the seat next to "blondie."

"Tobi's a good boy! Tobi got up early to eat breakfast!!!" Tobi shouted while picking up his chopsticks.

"Deidara got up early to avoid Tobi" Deidara grumbled under his breath while taking another bite. Eva walked over and leaned on the counter right in front of Tobi while biting her bottom lip and concentrating hard on his swirly orange mask. Tobi looked up at her while she continued staring.

"Hey swirly-face?" She asked after a few seconds. "Are Obito?"

"Obito? If he has a orange mask and is a good boy then yes I am!" Tobi (or obito, who knows?) exclaimed throwing his arms up in the air. Eva sighed and walked back to the stove to put the next omellete on a plate. She put it down and poured another glass of tea. A small smirked crept onto her face as she saw the next member walked down.

" Dummm dum. Dummm dum." She hummed while Kisame walked into the room. She kept humming this getting faster and faster and right when he sat down she finnished her little song. Kisame looked up at her, irrated and she thought she even heard Deidara stiffle down a laugh.

"So Shark-man..." Evangelline began.

"Dont call me that." Kisame interrupted.

"Fine." Eva sighed and rolled her eyes. She tossed a pair of chopsticks over her shoulder to him. "Here's your chopsticks Smurf-san." She said trying not to laugh.

"Smurf-san?" Kisame asked.

" Yeah know those little blue things with the white hats that sing that really annoying song? La la la la la sing a happy song, la la la la la smurf the whole day long." She sang.

"Er...no." He stated, obviously confused.

"TOBI WATCHES THAT SHOW EVERY SATURDAY MORNING!" Tobi yelled out suddenly. "TOBI LOVES THOSE LITTLE SMURFS!"

Eva justed looked at him as Kisame and Deidara sweatdropped.

"Right. Well you are Smurf-san, okay?" She said.

"Not okay" 'Smurf-san' retorted.

"Too bad!" Eva said in a sing-song tone.


	3. Of Shampoo and Uncle Scrooge

Okay here this one goes...Three more members show up, what will happen??

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or its characters...sadly. If I did wells...evil laughter ENJOY!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Evangelline turned the stove on low to let the final four omelets stay warm. For about a minute everyone was quite and occasionally throwing glares to her. (Well, not Tobi, he was still humming the smurf's theme song and happily eating his omelet...) Eva sighed when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs again. She (once again) put an omelet on a plate and got the tea kettle ready. Kakazu turned the corner and slumped into his seat with out saying a word. Evangelline walked over to him and poured his tea.

"What's up with you, Uncle Scrooge?" Eva asked as she leaned on the counter.

"Well if you _must _know, Hidan woke me up VERY early this morning ranting about how he had a dream that Janshin moved him up in the world or some shit like that and for the last thirty minutes he has been singing some stupid song about..." Kakazu stopped his ranting and turned to face Eva. "What the hell did you call me?" He asked.

Evangelline turned and walked back over to the stove and turned to face the counter. "Uncle Scrooge..."

"What is that supposed to mean?" He spat out.

"TOBI LOVES THAT STORY!!!!!" Tobi yelled out. "Its about and old man who never wanted to spare a penny, not even for the poor children. During Christmas Eve the three ghost of Christmas Past visited him and changed his thoughts! He learned to have a heart and lived happily ever after!!!" Tobi finished, with tears in his eye after the 'moving' story. Deidara sighed and whacked Tobi in the head.

"Shut up and your breakfast." He said.

"Are you calling me cheap?" Kakazu asked.

"Yes" Eva said proudly.

"You are." Deidara stated, accusingly pointing his chopsticks at him. "YOU wouldn't let me buy my favorite shampoo OR conditioner!!"

"The store brand works just the same." Kakazu replied flatly.

"No it doesn't! My hair is a delicate work of art that deserves proper cleaning and conditioning!!!" Deidara huffed back. Eva giggled at the statement, getting a hard glare back from Blondie. Kakazu rolled his eyes and went to eating his food.

"So when is Hidan coming down?" Eva asked

"Why do I care?" Kakazu said.

"Ugh. Grumpy as always Uncle Scrooge..." Eva sighed. She was about to say something else when the shadow of another member appeared in the doorway.

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Sorry that this chapter was so short! ; I PROMISE, Itachi will be in the next one!


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